To those who persist in wearing their slippers in public

This is going to make me sound like a crazy lady, but it’s true.  On Saturday, while walking through the shops, I had a sudden and almost uncontrollable urge to tell an otherwise well dressed young lass that the ugg boots she was wearing were dreadful, totally dreadful, and completely ruined the effort she had gone to with her hair and makeup that morning.

You see, I love ugg boots, and for mothers day I was given some beautiful quality warm and snuggly ones of my own.  I’m wearing them as I type and they are just lovely.  But they’re SLIPPERS.  And slippers are for wearing round the house, that way their soles stay nice and clean, see?  Their soles are delicate and rubbery and designed for navigating cold tiles and floorboards in winter.

The only times they should be seen in public is for a weekend morning dash to get the newspaper, preferably with stripy pyjamas to match; or for late night collections of children from tennis and netball and the like.

I know I sound like the AntiBogan but I don’t care.  I am aware that the tide of public sentiment is against me, and that even Hollywood celebrities have been seen in public wearing their slippers, unashamedly, often with a pooch and a ridiculously large beverage in tow.

The fact is, in my opinion, they look terrible.  While cosy and adorable worn inside your front door, out in the wilds they make you look incredibly frumpy. They make your legs look short, fat a la tree trunks, and really as if you don’t give a damn.

So if you don’t give a damn, that’s fine, wear them as you will.  But if you do give a damn, even a little damn about fashion, please keep them for winters at home while you laze in the front of the fire, on your bear rug, with marshmallows and hot chocolate and Ryan Gosling.

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